In a turn of events that has rocked the very foundations of human rights, pro-Khalistan leader and Waris Punjab De chief, Amritpal Singh and his associates have declared a hunger strike at Assam’s Dibrugarh Jail. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the men notorious for disrupting peace are now showing an exemplary concern for culinary standards and telecommunications access.

According to Shiromani Gurdwara Parbandhak Committee (SGPC) president Harjinder Singh Dhami, this egregious situation is a violation of human rights. Speaking on the sidelines of a function celebrating the retirement of Golden Temple’s head granthi Giani Jagtar Singh, Dhami brought to light the shocking revelation.

He noted, "A month after the prisoners are booked under the National Security Act (NSA), medical checkup is carried out. So, the jail administration should ensure this is done in a timely manner and the detainees are given a good diet." Yes, you heard it right. These men, who presumably once plotted against the country's security, are now in dire need of nutritious meals and timely medical checkups.

The SGPC president further championed their cause, stating, "I want them to be allowed to prepare their own food.” Because as we all know, prison is the ideal setting for a gourmet cooking showdown.

Mr. Dhami seems perplexed at the Punjab government's apprehensions about these prisoners. As he pointed out, "They are thousands of miles away from Punjab. They should be allowed at least one telephonic conversation with their families. If they are not provided such facilities, this is a violation of human rights." Ah yes, the universal right to long-distance phone calls.

In a video statement, former Akal Takht acting jathedar Giani Harpreet Singh chimed in on the issue. He expressed his dismay, "The imprisoned Sikhs are not being given facilities as per the jail manual. It is unfortunate that they are being served food laced with tobacco." One can't help but wonder if the jail manual has a chapter on gourmet meal preparation for NSA detainees.

On a more serious note, Amritpal’s parents have voiced concerns about deteriorating living conditions in the jail. But before you get too sympathetic, remember that authorities at Dibrugarh Central Jail have refuted these hunger strike reports.

On his visit to the oldest jail in Northeast India, Dibrugarh Deputy Commissioner Biswajit Pegu clarified, "There is no hunger strike. I have personally met with them. They want access to phone facilities. They will be allowed to make a phone call once a week for 15-20 minutes. There are no complaints about the quality of food." That's right, folks. The big "human rights violation" has been solved with a once-a-week phone call.

Meanwhile, Kirandeep Kaur, Amritpal's wife, is gallantly undertaking weekly journeys from Amritsar to Dibrugarh to meet her husband. She has revealed that a weekly phone call facility could save each visiting family member an amount ranging from Rs 20,000 to Rs 25,000. Evidently, these are tough times for the families of prisoners - not only do they have to worry about their loved ones' culinary needs, but also their long-distance phone bills.

Finally, for those in the dark, the saga of Amritpal Singh began on April 23 when he was arrested by the Punjab Police from a Gurdwara in Rode village, Moga district, after being on the run for 35 days. So, let's recap: they plotted against national security, evaded capture for over a month, and are now demanding gourmet meals and weekly phone calls. What's next? Demanding luxury suites instead of jail cells? Stay tuned.